drawing by alana

My birthday was ruined by Greek souvlaki, hummus, and feta cheese dips.


The Greek restaurant, OPA, in Taipei had called me three times in the last two weeks, making sure I was ready for my reservation. Or what they thought was my reservation….

“Hello, is this Hannah Smith? Your table for eight is ready!”

“No, no. So sorry that’s the 23rd!”

The following week, on Wednesday.

“Hannah Smith! Just confirming your table for 10 people tonight.”

“Ooooh, umm sorry it’s this Saturday.”

This was most likely my fault, since I didn’t understand the reservation function on their website and kept clicking “reserve” over and over again until I had booked the whole restaurant for a month.

The 11 of us (I don’t know how to count important friends in my life as well, it seems) showed up for a 8pm dinner reservation on the correct day and our eyes were bigger than our stomachs.

“I want the spinach artichoke fondue, htipiti dip, and the greek salad, please. Yes, those will be our starters.”

Four girls shared three appetizers and then we each got a massive plate of our own food including moussaka, lamb souvlaki for me, and soup…Regina got soup….who gets soup at a restaurant? I thought it was just the elderly and people with recent mouth surgeries. We added onto this with some greek Mythos beer (mighty delicious), coffee, tea, and “food for the gods” cake. We were feeling stellar. Until we stood up.

“I need to lie down.”

“I just want to…roll around.”

“I wouldn’t be against heading back and putting on pajamas.”

This was about 10pm. On a Saturday.

Now, I really wasn’t planning on a rager of a night. I’m not huge on clubs anymore/I don’t like getting alcohol constantly spilled on me and having to shout to talk to really unintelligent people so I’d just planned on dinner and a bar or two with the gang, but we were turning into sloth creatures. We arrived at Beer and Cheese, a trendy, modern looking, two story beer house that also serves cheesy delights. The sloth creatures were pretty upset to find out that the kitchen was closed and there was no cheese to be had. BECAUSE TEN POUNDS OF GREEK FETA WAS NOT ENOUGH.

Regina and Carly laid their heads down on the wooden table in defeat. The greek food had won. Our stomachs were its bitches now. Yet, some of my friends and I pressed on. I ordered a beer called “Kill Your Darlings” because this place was slightly pretentious, I love any chance to be pretentious, and you gotta love a good writing reference.

My international drinking tally for the night was so:

Soju from South Korea

Kopparberg Swedish Cider

Mythos Greek Beer

Estrella Damm from Spain

Crabbies Ginger Beer and Kill Your Darlings from England

My liver was a total melting pot. The night went on, we had fun, we chatted, but no, we didn’t get up to no good. No one got crazy drunk, no one cried, and no one vomited. Not even after we ate MORE FOOD at Hi Life (to soak up the alcohol…that we really didn’t drink?) I was wanting to check out another bar around 1am but people seemed pretty lazy…these were the 25 year olds, might I add.   Fuckin’ youths.

*If you haven’t realized it yet, this is all pretty tongue in cheek. I had a lovely birthday and my friends are the cream of the crop, but you gotta make fun of a night where too much greek food was the star of the show.

I guess this is 27. It’s going to be a year full of food and attempts at getting drunk. Some of my birthday swag included massive cans of pumpkin puree, feta cheese, salted chocolate, and booze so, this is a legitamite guess.


chatting with my posse outside of beer and cheese.


i even got a fake tat, I AM SO LIKE 21 YEARS OLLLLDDD!


dancing and being wild…more like jigging to 80’s music.



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