Wedding season is coming to a close and I’ve traveled to Boulder, Toronto, and small town California for celebrations of love and all things Pinterest. I’ve had a ball, but being a single female at events that are focused on coupledom has made me realize that single people and those who are attached do not have the same wedding experiences. Single people, you feel me. The struggle is real. All you people in relationships? Snuggle up with your lover, all smug, I mean snug, and read what you’ve been missing.
Everyone wants to fix your singleness
Most of the time, people will ignore your singleness or forget it even exists, but at a wedding, all of a sudden, it is an affront. People ruminate about the love in their life, then look at the other couples around them, and sigh contently. But, then their gaze hits that single friend and the spell is broken.
Why are they not with someone?!
EVERYONE MUST HAVE LOVE AND HAVE IT NOW.
And so, the “fixing” begins. The bride at the wedding in California whispered in my ear, “Do you want me to tell you who the single guys are?”
No, I did not, as I was not looking for an awkward set-up with some guy who went to preschool with the groom.
A drunken friend took me aside in Toronto, looked me in the eye, and said, “I just want you to find love.”
I’ll try my best?
You are fresh meat
Single people start to feel the heat at a wedding and this is why wedding hookups are so common. We may not be in a relationship, but maybe if we make-out with someone, we will be accepted by this love cult. A guy I’d never spoken to came up to me on the dance floor and asked my name. After I responded, he looked at me appraisingly and said, “That’s what I thought.”
Obviously, he had been given a list of names of all the available women and was checking out his options. At another wedding, I was informed that at the bachelor party, one of the men had said he was looking to hookup at the wedding, and was told that I would be down. Had I said this? No, but my single status apparently announced it.
If you’re looking for a hookup, a wedding is an easy, fun place, but if you’re not, it’s uncomfortable as hell.
More money and time will be spent
Traveling to a wedding, staying in a hotel, and buying a gift all adds up, but it’s much easier if you have a partner to do it with. Back in the day, you could do it with your friends, but as I near thirty, most of my friends are coupled up, and so, gas money, fancy hotel prices, and matching plate prices all fall on me.
Couples also receive a get-out-of-wedding-free card, as in when they want to leave the party and go home early, then can because they probably have a 500-piece puzzle to do together while in matching sweaters, but if you’re single and try to leave early, you will be judged.
“Where are you going?! You need to party with us!!”
This should be opposite, as most single people have more than their share of party fun, and the couples are the ones that need the night out. As my married friend screamed while dancing, “I never get to drink this much!!”
You will believe in love
Us single people can get bitter about our love lives, especially when we’re tromping all over the place attending weddings. As a friend said, “You can tell who the single people are at a wedding. They are the ones crying in a corner.”
Yet, when you hear those earnest vows, see the groom’s face as he watches the bride walk down the aisle, and realize you’ve never seen those two look happier, you get that warm, fuzzy feeling that tells you maybe love aint so bad. You may not be looking for it right now or perhaps you haven’t found the right one, but you start to think that one day you’d like to be this in love.
But, most important is the realization that while love is a beautiful thing, so is being single and you should cherish it while you can. Soon enough, you’ll be looking up slow cooker recipes on Pinterest every night, wearing ugly pajamas because you no longer care about your looks, and be arguing about whose turn it is to do the dishes. You’ll attend a wedding, look over at that single girl trying to reject the advances of someone’s weird cousin, and you’ll wistfully remember the good times.